Heather Blues
  Peter Gibbon

Any pigment with added white is modified by the adjective Heather to produce
a muted shade, but any two colours can be mixed.

It’s an artifice. She’ll impede your slow but sure descent into total alcoholism;
remind you to cut nails. Comparative: more Heather.

They say my mutant power is cuddling. Hers is watching people cry
in public & fainting when she sees an accident.

My incapacity to close anything has created problems before, beyond the peanut
butter on the floor. Comparative: less Heather.

Flowing down the birth canal of your matrimony, your vows will incorporate
Muppets because you aren’t high, bug-eyed or fuzzy enough, I suppose. Superlative: most Heather.

My wife’s hand was clasped once. Sounds like the true story of meeting her
I sold, many years ago, to a dating website for $20.

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